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发信人: thinkboy (生命的留意【序】), 信区: Rock
标 题: KURT 遗书
发信站: 荔园晨风BBS站 (Thu Sep 27 19:15:25 2001), 转信
To Boddah:
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would
rather be an emasculated, infantile complaind. This note should be
pretty easy to understand.All the warnings from the Punk Rock 101
Courses over the years, it's my first introduction to the, shall we
say ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your
community has been proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement
of listening to, as well as creating music, along with really writing
something for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these
things,for example when we're backstage and the lights go out and the
manic roar of the crowd begins. It doesn't affect me in the way which it
did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love and relish the love and
admiration from the crowd,which is something I totally admire and envy.
The fact is,I can't fool you, any of you. It simply isn't fair to you,or
to me. The worst crime can think of would be to pull people off by
faking it, pretending as if I'm having one 100% fun.
Sometimes I feeln as though I should have a punch-in time clock before I
walk out on-stage. I've tried everything within my power to
appreciate it, and I do,God believe me, I do, but it's not enough. I
appreciate the fact that I, and we, have affected, and entertained a lot
of people. I must be one of the narcisists who only appreciate things
when they're alone. I'm too sensitive,I need to be slightly numb in
order to regain the enthusiasm.But, what's sad is our child. On our last
three tours, I've had a much better appreciation of all the people I've
known personally, and as fans of our music. But I still can't get out
the frustration, the guilt, and the sympathy I have for everybody. There
is good in all of us, and I simply love people too much. So much that
it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little sensitive
unappreciative pisces Jesus man! why don't you just enjoy it? I dont
know!
I have a of a wide who sweats ambition and empadny,and a daughter who
reminds me to much of what I use to be.full of love and joy, every
person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And
that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I cant
stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable self destructive,
deathrocker she become.
I have it good, very good,and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven,
I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it
seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy. Empathy only
because I love and feel for people too much I guess.Thank you from the
pit of my burning nauseas stomach for your letters and concern during
the last years. I'm too much of a neurotic moody person and I don't have
the passion anymore,so remember, it's better to burn out, than fade
away.
Peace, love, empathy,
Kurt Cobain
Frances and Courtney,
I'll be at your altar.
Please keep going Courtney
for Frances
for her life which will be so much
happier without me.
I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU!
--
※ 来源:·荔园晨风BBS站 bbs.szu.edu.cn·[FROM: 192.168.48.247]
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